Negative.
I've been doing really well keeping a good attitude but today everything is just weighing on me so heavily.
-The lashing that I got from a few "anonymous" cowards with regard to the "bumpy road" post. (No, I did not publish them.)
- Telling the parents again that things didn't work out and their associated reaction.
- And most difficult is the gravity of what this all means. One more try in the contract. Poor odds for the rest of the embryos. What if this next cycle doesn't work for them? Then what? I know it's not about me, but I've been imagining the day that I give them a baby every day for the last 9 months. No doubt they have been too! Although nowhere near that of K&M, my family and I have made sacrifices to do this, and at this point there has been no gain.
...Looking for the rainbow after the storm here.
The nurse said they may make some changes to my meds on the next round. I hope that doesn't mean more needles and syringes. Looks like we'll get started again once my cycle restarts. For now... I'm going to go crawl into a hole. I'll work on turning my attitude around tomorrow.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
4 comments:
Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)
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so sorry to hear about your negative. i've been there and it's hard to not shoulder some of the resposibility. just stay positive and don't stress about the rest (easier said than done i know).
ReplyDeleteAbout those "poor odds" embryos. We had 4 of those too. The stragglers, the ugly, the fragmented, one that lost all but one cell. It was all we had left and decided to do a FET rather than pay for another year to store them.
ReplyDeleteAgainst all odds, after 3 IVF cycles that should have worked and didn't, our "lowered expectations" as we aptly named our frosties,sat in his crib this morning with his blanket over his head giggling at me.
Miracles happen. I often describe IVF as a crapshoot. You never know why the perfect cycles don't work and the completely messed up ones do.
Since I know it's hard to hold onto hope now, I'll hold onto it for you and the parents.
It makes me so sad that people would feel the right to bash on you or against you. You are right they are cowards. Keep your head up. What you are doing for these people makes you a very special person. The world needs more caring and unselfish people like you in it. May God be with you always.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry. The trials of infertility for all involved are very tough to bear. Sending you and the IPs strength, courage and hope to move forward. And praying that there's life in the remaining embryos. Maybe this is the way it HAD to play out -- and they will be blessed by a miracle in 2012.
ReplyDelete- Kristin from the Bump