I have [almost] no words

I just got a call from K.
She's pregnant.
The transfer is off.
Please send her lots of prayers.
That is all for now.

I’m leaving for the final trip in one week

…and it really couldn’t be worse timing. lol!

I am heartbroken that I’ll be missing little K’s very first Soccer Game! Let me tell you, three year olds playing soccer is about the cutest thing ever.  They look like a bunch of little chicks out there kicking the ball around. Everybody wants the ball and they’re all working on sharing. Getting the ball in the goal makes them erupt in a chorus of “WE WON!”  So cute. I’m really sad to miss it. (I mean REALLY sad. This is a milestone after all.)  Rest assured I’ll be at every practice and every game going forward.

My Grandfather’s health is also in question. A mass was found on his liver and we don’t know just yet what the biopsy will tell us or if surgery will be involved.

On top of that, my Husband’s Grandfather’s heath is in very serious jeopardy. He had a fall which left him with the left half of his body paralyzed.  He has refused a feeding tube so… it’s not looking good. I don’t know exactly how many days one can go without food, so my Father in Law is headed out to be with him. We have no idea if a funeral will be taking place next week and how we’re going to make arrangements for my husband to possibly be gone while I’m also gone. Contractually, I’m obligated to be there for the transfer on the 23rd.  I’m praying everything falls into place in our favor.

I had my last bloodwork and ultrasound on Tuesday.

E2= 890

P4=.5

Lining = 9mm

LH=12

The moron of a Third Party IVF Coordinator said”

Results have been reviewed by Dr. Lavy and are in range :o)

[K had to send a message back to her asking for “actual numbers” instead of generalities.]

Please continue the estrace three times a day  [Hey she got the dose right this time.]

Please start the crinone [progesterone] twice a day on 6/18 in addition to the estrace [I’m actually taking Estradiol but close enough]

See you here in Stamford on 6/22 before 1pm  [This is for blood work and uterine mapping since they don’t do U/S guided transfers.]

OK?

Well yes, ok. Did I have a choice?  lol   

I’ll have blood work and ultrasound as soon as my plane hits the ground and we drive to the clinic on Wednesday the 22nd. After that we’ll have some lunch and then do a massage and Rei Ki again. Then dinner and I’ll crash in my hotel room. (I have to leave my house around 4am to catch the early flight to LaGuardia.)

The transfer will take place on the 23rd in the morning. I’ll have acupuncture before and after again, but with a different acupuncturist than I’ve had on previous trips.

After that it’s time to rest. I have a new book that I need to check out and read, photo books to create, and hopefully I can find some funny movies to watch. Any recommendations?  Supposedly laughing and feeling happy can help the chances of success. We really need to pull out all the stops here. lol!

Before all of that happens, I need to complete my To Do list:

• Make updates to the girls’ daily schedules
• Make a list and stock pantry/fridge for the girls’ lunches
• Plan husband’s low carb dinners and variations for the girls
• CLEAN, Laundry
• Wash guest bed linens
• Lay out the girls’ clothes including soccer gear ::sniff, sniff::
• Gather a basket of motrin, bandaids, sunscreen, ouch spray, etc for easy access
• And most importantly, play/snuggle/love my girls and hubby a lot!

:: Deep Breath ::

This is the last trip.  The last blood draws.  The last hotel stay in Greenwich. The last chance to MAKE THIS HAPPEN.   PLEASE for the love of Pete, LET THIS HAPPEN.  Everyone is counting on success. Honestly, when we started this journey, I never imagined failure even as a possibility. I never thought we’d get to the third transfer. That says a lot, considering that I’m a huge planner.

….So I guess that means that this will work. Pregnancy, here I come. (I hope.)

Urgent care visit

I had my ultrasound and blood work this morning.  The ultrasound nurse noted that my cheeks were flushed and I told her what was going on. She said that, while I wasn’t technically their patient and they couldn’t treat me without orders to do so, she would instruct me to visit urgent care if I were a patient.

The numbness in my face and hands had her concerned the most. When the nurse out east called me with my results, she agreed that I should visit urgent care, but keep taking the estrogen. She was very apologetic.
(Actually the nurse called me after the Third Party IVF coordinator screwed up my estrogen dose and I called her on it.  She had the RE’s nurse return my call. ) I also didn't realize that K was cc'd on the message, so she found out that I hadn't been feeling well. I didn't intend for her to know. That's the last thing she needs to worry about. She said she felt like we should cancel the cycle. I apologized and told her not to worry and that we didn't need to cancel. Everything was going to be fine.  I feel so badly about that.

Urgent care decided that it was a migraine and nothing more serious. My blood pressure is high but that tends to be my body’s response to pain. (although my normal is around 80/60, so a high reading is actually very high.) Because the numbness is in my whole face and both hands, not just one side, it fits the typical symptoms of a migraine.  They said that they could Rx a migraine medication, but I already had one at home, and it needed to be used at the beginning of a migraine. Taking at this point would help only minimally.
The Dr and I agreed that I could handle the headache. It was the nausea that was causing me the most distress, so they Rx’d some Zofran. I think this is kind of funny actually because I took Zofran when I was pregnant with K and it *gave* me headaches.  Oh well.  If it stops the nausea, I’ll be thrilled.

So… I’m going to call this a positive step.  Less puking would be awesome! As long as the clinic out East okay's it, I'm good to go. Now Shoo Migraine!

Orders to proceed

I went for blood work this morning. I didn’t have the usual nurse that I’ve been getting and I realized how much I miss her. She’s just the sweetest person, and always remembers me. I guess after 14 visits and veins that blow out, roll, or just don’t give out blood, you’d tend to remember someone though.  She’s always gentle and now uses the kinder butterfly needle without having to be asked. The lady today jabbed me and wiggled around with the big ol’ syringe. I guess I’ll deal with the mediocre nurses so that I can better appreciate the good ones. 
The ultrasound tech was befuddled looking at the ultrasound screen. She wondered why this was a baseline ultrasound, but I had follicles well formed. (my own eggs). I told her, while yes this was a baseline ultrasound (usually done on cycle day 3) that I was on cycle day 7 after bouncing on and off various meds. She sort of raised an eyebrow.
After that, the RE’s nurse called. I am to take the estrogen three times a day until otherwise notified.  Then the kick in the pants. She had promised that I could do my monitoring appointments on Tuesdays because that is the day my mom comes to visit the girls. That way my husband wouldn’t have to leave work. Well she revoked that.  I have to go next Wednesday instead. Whatever. As long as I have a baby in my belly after all of this I’ll forgive them. Maybe.
And note to self: This wouldn’t be an issue if I had gotten my behind in gear and warmed my youngest child up to a new baby sitter.  The thought of bringing a stranger into my home troubles me, but I’m going to have to do interviews one way or another. I just can’t bear to let the little one cry as I leave. I do have a dear sweet friend who offered to watch my girls as well even though she has a newborn and 2 year old of her own.  I totally trust her with my kids but again the little one probably wouldn’t even let me out her door.
*Update:* The RE’s nurse called me back and told me that Tuesday will work out okay. It’s not ideal but if that’s what works best for me then I can stick with a Tuesday appointment. I could honestly hug her right now.
So anyway, it looks like everything is a go. I can settle into my estrogen haze one last time. Maybe knowing this is the last time will make it easier. Knowing that it will result in a baby would make it even better yet.    Happy Weekend everyone!