Monday, March 14, 2011
The unsung hero
It's also made me a little more anxious than usual. I was feeling unsettled by the fact that my husband will have to take off work in order to care for our two girls during my next two ultrasound and blood draws. I feel insanely guilty when he has to take off work for me. The guilt doubles as he'll have to take two full days off of work to care for the girls while I'm in New England for the transfer. He's so good about all of this though. When I expressed how much it stressed me out, he said in his usual calm tone, "It's fine. No big deal." When I sent him the dates and times of the next appointment, asking if I needed to reschedule the times to fit his schedule, he said, "I'll make it work. Love you." If he's worried about caring for our girls for 5 days alone, he doesn't show that either. ...Although that might simply be due to lack of knowledge. He's never had to care for them for more than a couple of hours. lol!
Really, he's an unsung hero in all of this. It takes a very special husband to support his wife as a surrogate. He's a support person in the process, experiencing the inconvenience of his wife’s pregnancy but receives less of the emotional reward. He's contractually barred from having sex with me for a certain amount of time. His wife gets big and chubby but he gains nothing from it. People congratulate him and he has to explain that it's not his..... and it's not hers either. Huh? He has to help out with the girls while I birth another couple's baby, and assumes the risk of medical problems during the pregnancy right along with me as it affects his normal life too, but nobody tells him what a great guy he is for all of this. He's an amazing and giving man. He supports me in this endeavor and understands (to a certain degree) how important it is for me to give this gift. He trusts me, and loves me, and he deserves a lot of credit. So, if you know my husband in person and you see him in the near future, please don't hesitate to tell him how much he rocks!