Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Red Tape and other sticky things

Things moved much faster than I had anticipated and before I knew it, I had a list of things to do in order to prepare for the surrogacy. The first thing in the process was to begin weaning my youngest child. I had to think long and hard about whether it was the right time and how it would affect her. My one steadfast goal throughout the surrogacy is to affect my girls' lives as little as possible. I had previously hoped to nurse until my youngest was18mos but decided that I would nurse until she was a year old instead. At that time I would begin weaning. I explained this to K&M and, although it meant waiting for a while to begin, they were so gracious and agreed that we would do the transfer no sooner than 2 months after my youngest child's birthday. I was so relieved. SO relived. I began the process casually, letting my child set the pace, and eventually we were able to get her weaned without too much trouble. Weaning - Check!

The next step in the process was to get my medical records sent to the couple's Dr out East. I also had to get a letter from my OB stating that it was okay for me to get pregnant. My OB wanted me to get a physical before she'd release me but insurance wouldn't cover one until the end of January. We really needed things to move faster than that. After some calling and whining on my part, one of the new OB's at the practice I go to agreed to sign the release without seeing me. Funny how I'd never met her in my life but she'd okay it anyway.  Ha! Record and release - check!

The next step was a required psychological evaluation. This was supposed to be done out East, but K&M were able to find a Dr here in my home city so that I wouldn't have to leave my children. (Thank you!) The Psychologist wanted to do a group session, so K & M flew half way across the US for the weekend before the appointment and joined me and my family for dinner the night before.

All of us were very nervous for this visit. What would we think of each other? Would this be awkward? In reality it was a wonderful visit. M&K brought the most amazing cupcakes and my oldest daughter fell instantly in love with both of them. We had a nice dinner, got to know one another better, and they were so great with our children. This further strengthened my desire to give this couple a baby. The next day was our evaluation. It ended up being fairly easy and all of us passed with flying colors.  Psychological evaluation - check!

So that's where we sit right now. I have a call into the fertility clinic in my home city to do a sonohysterogram. This is basically a uterine power wash to determine that the womb is ready for a baby. I've had this done in the testing process to have our first child. I am not looking forward to this visit as it causes me a lot of discomfort but I keep telling myself that if I can birth two children without medication, then I can surely make it through this again without too much whining. Right? And it's all for a greater good. This is another of the tests that was supposed to be done out East but K really went to bat for me on this one and finally their Dr agreed that I could have it done here.  The results could be relayed to him. (Thank you again!!)

After that is complete, there's just routine blood testing, both for my husband and for me. I'll have mine done right away and I anticipate that my husband will drag his feet. I don't blame him. He doesn't really like Dr's much and nobody goes to have their blood drawn just for fun.  :)

Once that's done, we'll secure a lawyer to review the contract and THEN.... Then we can really get started. We're thinking mid March??

1 comment:

  1. i'm so excited for you and looking forward to following your journey! i know very little about ivf and even less about surrogacy, so i have a few questions i hope you'll address here sometime!
    do you have any hormone treatments for the ivf? what about the possibility of multipes? who makes prenatal decisions (such as ultrasounds, testing, etc)? during labor and birth, who makes decisions that may affect baby, or decisions that may affect both you and baby? what will the parents do as far as immediate bonding? breastfeeding? what will you do to care for yourself during that emotional rollercoaster called postpartum?
    i'm sure i'll have many more! i'm eager to read and learn more!
    : )


Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)