So many of you have contacted me in different ways and I want to say thank you for all of the support! I feel your love and it lifts me up. Many have asked how I'm feeling about this. Truly, I feel about 100,000,000 different emotions and it's hard to articulate exactly what they are.
I'm sad that I don't get the last chance to make all of our sacrifices worth it. Completely uncompensated, the countless blood draws, hormone side effects, agonizing decisions, time my husband took off work, time away from family, etc feels unnecessary and under acknowledged. However, in the end, a baby in their arms is all that really matters. The shared goal was to bring a baby home to that beautifully decorated nursery and I hope that I can be one of the first to congratulate them and wish them a happy and healthy nine months. My prayers will be with them the whole way.
Will I find another couple to carry for? -- Some surrogates go in search of parents to carry for and intend to do it several times. This has never been my intention. I saw a couple in need, identified with their desire for a child, and knew I had what it takes to help them. If a friend or acquaintance closer to home needed my help, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I will not actively seek out another couple. I do feel like there's unfinished business and the desire to carry for someone in need is there. I'm just not interested in doing it for a random "someone" if that makes sense.
How did this happen? -- Good old fashioned sex, according to them. She has had numerous chemical pregnancies and possibly some miscarriages as well. I can't quite recall. Six Reproductive Endocrinologists who cared for her all agreed on the same diagnosis. Her uterus was not capable of creating enough lining to sustain life. Yet, it's estimated by the ER Dr. that she's 6 weeks along, and according to her, she's felt morning sickness for a while now. God works in mysterious ways.