Sunday, June 19, 2011

Some answers

So many of you have contacted me in different ways and I want to say thank you for all of the support! I feel your love and it lifts me up. Many have asked how I'm feeling about this. Truly, I feel about 100,000,000 different emotions and it's hard to articulate exactly what they are.

I'm sad that I don't get the last chance to make all of our sacrifices worth it. Completely uncompensated, the countless blood draws, hormone side effects, agonizing decisions, time my husband took off work, time away from family, etc feels unnecessary and under acknowledged. However, in the end, a baby in their arms is all that really matters. The shared goal was to bring a baby home to that beautifully decorated nursery and I hope that I can be one of the first to congratulate them and wish them a happy and healthy nine months. My prayers will be with them the whole way.

Will I find another couple to carry for? -- Some surrogates go in search of parents to carry for and intend to do it several times. This has never been my intention. I saw a couple in need, identified with their desire for a child, and knew I had what it takes to help them. If a friend or acquaintance closer to home needed my help, I'd do it in a heartbeat, but I will not actively seek out another couple. I do feel like there's unfinished business and the desire to carry for someone in need is there. I'm just not interested in doing it for a random "someone" if that makes sense.

How did this happen? -- Good old fashioned sex, according to them. She has had numerous chemical pregnancies and possibly some miscarriages as well. I can't quite recall. Six Reproductive Endocrinologists who cared for her all agreed on the same diagnosis. Her uterus was not capable of creating enough lining to sustain life. Yet, it's estimated by the ER Dr. that she's 6 weeks along, and according to her, she's felt morning sickness for a while now. God works in mysterious ways.


  1. Maybe it took your sacrifices and all our prayers to get K to conceive on her own. You're still an amazing person, and truly a blessing.

  2. Oh my!!! I missed your previous post, so this was my first time hearing the news. WOW! I don't know what to say! Obviously I am thrilled for them and pray that this is their healthy baby, but my heart aches for you and all you've been through too. I do believe your loving offer to help and all you've done was part of God's plan. You are an amazing person. Lots of love and hugs to you.

  3. I wish them all the best and hope a healthy baby comes home to them in 8 months! But I can understand your 1000 emotions right now. I'm sure you will work through them in due time and realize how you did actually help K and her husband. But in the meantime, I'd like to tell you how you've helped me.
    I am in need of a GC due to my melanoma. In researching the concept of surrogacy, I never really believed that there were women out there who would provide this opportunity to help a couple carry their baby. It seemed "strange" to me. "Odd. Crazy." I was so unsure if I could trust "a stranger" to carry my child.
    But after reading your blog - I now know that there IS a woman out there who will be MY you. You have truly made me more confident in moving forward in my search for a GC. And for that... I thank you.
    - Kristin (lurker on the Bump) :)

  4. Thanks so much ladies! I'm in a good place with this. :)
    Kristin, thank you for sharing your story with me! You must have been through so much already. I hope you find just the right carrier to love your baby until its time to put him/her in your arms! Trusting a stranger with your most precious cargo has to be very daunting, indeed! I'm honored to have helped in my own small way. :)

  5. I know this is very bittersweet. I am so happy for the couple. I think this was God's plan and now you now know why it never worked out.


Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)