Monday, February 14, 2011

Losing sleep

I have not been sleeping well lately. My little ones have been playing dueling banjos, taking turns waking me up in the middle of the night. My oldest has been sick and my youngest loves being with her mom. Then when I get back to bed, I just lay there and my mind will not shut off. A lot of times I think about the upcoming IVF transfer. I'm excited to get all of our ducks in a row and get it going. With that excitement comes some fear too.

I'm nervous about the possibility of carrying twins. The plan (based on conversation) has been to transfer one embryo on our first try, as one healthy baby is our ideal situation. If that doesn't work, we'll have to re-evaluate. Originally that second try was supposed to be a fresh single embryo transfer as well but both the intended parents and I need to come to an agreement.

I'll admit that I'm really nervous about that. While not the end of the world, twins would be so much more difficult. More difficult to carry, more risk involved with their health and mine, more difficult to care for my own girls, there's always the risk of time in the NICU, bedrest, and the much increased chances of a c-section. I absolutely do not want a csection if at all possible, and bedrest would throw my household into a tailspin.

Yes these are all things I considered before agreeing to this process. It's just that now I'm feeling more pressure to transfer more than one embryo and it makes me nervous. Sleeplessly nervous.

Moms that have been there before, please tell me about your experiences.
  • How did your life change carrying twins? Did you have toddlers to care for?
  • If you carried twins, when did you deliver? (what gestational age) Was there NICU time involved?
  • Were you on bedrest or restricted activity? How long?
  • Did you have a c-section or did you manage to deliver vaginally? 
  • If you did not have a c-section, what lead to the success of you being able to avoid it?
Additionally, what things can I do to increase my odds that the first single embryo transfer will be successful? It will be a FET (frozen embryo transfer) with AMA eggs. (AMA = Advanced Maternal Age) Intended mother is healthy. Just can't carry a baby, physically.

I would love to hear experiences and advice from those who are "in the know." I know there's a plan for me. Not knowing exactly what that plan is, keeps this control freak awake at night though.  Ha! :)


  1. I can't help with all your questions but I do have a bit of experience carrying a twin pregnancy while caring for a toddler. I won't write a book for you here in your comments but I'll send you an email or a message on facebook. Thanks for sharing your journey.

  2. We transferred 2 embryos on Day 5-- I was 29, and they were very good quality. I became pregnant with twins.

    I did have to go on bed rest when I was 22 weeks pregnant, and stayed on bed rest until I was 34 weeks pregnant. I honestly don't know what I would have done if we had other children already, because I absolutely would not have been able to care for them. I felt great, but my cervix was short and I would never have risked the pregnancy or the health of my babies.

    I went full-term (for twins), 36 weeks and 1 day. My boys were both perfect, 100% healthy. I had a vaginal delivery, no complications, and we all came home from the hospital together about 48 hours after their birth.

    I really think it is wonderful what you are doing!

  3. The key to carrying twins is to DRINK DRINK DRINK AND EAT EAT EAT. I also enjoyed some very light yoga every day. I ate 2-4 eggs every day and drank an Ensure everyday. almost every day I had a fruit smoothie. I ate 2 lunches and 2 dinners. I drank almost 2 gallons of water/day and no soda. (I had 3 cokes my entire pregnancy.) I carried my twins to 38 weeks. I had to have a c-section because they both were breech. But even at 38 weeks I was not dilated or effaced at all. A lot of this was because of hypnobabies. I got AMAZING sleep right up to the end. You can google "Relax Me" Hypnobabies to get a free download to see if you like the idea of hypnosis. It's great for falling asleep.

    I think about being a gestational surrogate a lot. I'll be following your blog. Good luck to you.

  4. To OB suggested delivery at 37 weeks, but because of "Wimpy White Male Syndrome" (I had 1 boy in there.) I asked to go to 38 weeks. He agreed, and had me go for 2 visits that last week w/ non stress test and a BPP. Everything was fine. My instincts were right. My boy ALMOST had to go to the NICU. My husband said they were REALLY pounding on his back. But he started breathing on his own, and was fine and stayed with me the entire time! Had we delivered at 37 weeks, he probably would have gone to the NICU.

    I did not have any bed rest, but I forced myself a lot of horizontal time. My 2 year old at the time got a little more TV than normal, but I was able to get out with him, and enjoy life normally. A week before delivery, we went to the park for the day, and it was HOT. (born end of June in the south.) I got a little dehydrated and felt dizzy when we got home, but I drank a bunch of water and took it easy, and I was fine. You just need to listen to your body and not ignore it.

    I did need help at home after the c-section for about 2-3 weeks. DH had to help be get out of bed. Getting up from horizontal position was really hard for me.

  5. Jenn thank you so much! That is really helpful information. I'm a hypnobabies fan already. I used Bradley to birth my first and hypnobabies for my second baby. I'll definitely be using it again.

  6. Rebecca, were both of your babies head down for birth?

  7. Hi there, I know you from the interwebs. I have twin boys who just turned two (Max & Wes), if that rings a bell. =)

    I'll start off by saying that with all due respect to the previous poster (Jenn), there really isn't a "key" to a twin pregnancy - it's pretty much all chance. This isn't me talking, it's my perinatologist, the boys' neonatologist, my OB/GYN practice, etc. I was religiously "good" during my pregnancy - ate extremely clean, kept active with light exercise almost every day, drank TONS of water and no caffeine, blahblahblah. Other than being ridiculously sick the first tri and part of the second tri, my pregnancy was picture perfect. Then, all of a sudden at my routine 24 week checkup, Max's water sac was hanging out of my cervix, and that day changed our lives forever.

    An emergency cerclage and 6 weeks of strict bed rest (laying down with my hips elevated for 22.5 hours every single day) later, my water broke on a Sunday night, and Max and Wes were born the next morning. It could have been a lot worse, but it certainly could have been better - but nothing was anything I could have controlled. That's just the hand I was dealt.

    I hate to be all Debbie Downer, but this is a possible reality of carrying a twin pregnancy. I don't think you, or anyone else for that matter, should think that if you follow a certain set of "rules" that you will have a successful, full-term twin pregnancy. Of course that would be my biggest wish for you...for your girls and your family...and for the intended parents.

    Our boys came at 30 weeks gestation, and were born via emergency c-section (although at the time they were breech and transverse, so there were already talks of having a c-section and I had come to terms with that). It was the only way as we had to get them out fast because of the risk of infection since my cervix was sewn together. Max and Wes spent 43 and 51 days, respectively, in the NICU - and while that was the worst time of our lives, we were so thankful that they were healthy, and just needed to learn to eat and maintain body temperature.

    I honestly don't know what I would have done if we had a toddler (or two) at home to care for while all of that was going I can't help you there.

    No matter the decision you make, I couldn't be more excited for you, and more excited for the intended parents. What a gift you are giving them.

    And feel free to ask me anything - I'm an open book. Kerry (lovemy2boys from TTTC)

  8. Thank you so much for your thoughts! What you've said is exactly what I was finding throughout my research. There's just no rhyme or reason for a good or challenging twin pregnancy. It just happens. I like things to be black and white. Can't this just be black and white? lol!


Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)