Tuesday, February 8, 2011


I certainly welcome questions that people have for me. I'm a pretty open book and the more we talk about surrogacy and infertility, the less foreign it seems to people, right?

So here are some that I get asked most often. Feel free to add to the list. I'll answer them.

  • Do you have any hormone treatments for the ivf? 
Sometimes people are put on birth control or Lupron to suppress the cycle and help time the IVF for the convenience of the intended mother's cycle and/or the fertility clinic. However, I am doing a very un-invasive hormone prep which is quite nice. I will be placed on estrogen (probably a patch) until right before the transfer. After the transfer I will be placed on progesterone which helps in some cases to sustain the pregnancy.
  • What about the possibility of multiples? 
In an effort to reduce the risk of multiples, we will be limiting the amount of embryos transferred. The great thing about IVF as opposed to IUI is that you can better control the number of fertilized eggs, thus reducing the risk of high order multiples. 
  • Who makes prenatal decisions (such as ultrasounds, testing, etc)? 
 Tests relating to the baby will be determined by my OB, their RE, and the intended parents. Testing related to my personal health is decided by me.
  • Who makes decisions during labor and birth?
Same - they make decisions related to baby's health. I make decisions related to my health. Both in cooperation with the appropriate Dr's and specialists. I've chosen to give birth med free and the parents are on board with that. They've also agreed to allow me the space I need during labor. They will join me once I start to push.
  • What will the parents do as far as immediate bonding? 
The parents will receive the baby as soon as he or she is born. I've not discussed in detail their plans for bonding though. I have no doubts that the parents have thought about this though and do have a plan.
  • Breastfeeding? 
This is really cool. The intended mother is planning to attempt lactation. It will mean a lot of effort on her part, several months in advance but I think it's a neat thing for her to do, and it will provide an amazing bonding experience. I will plan to pump the milk that I produce and send it to them as a supplement. 
  • What will you do to care for yourself during that emotional rollercoaster called postpartum?
I feel like I'm perfect for this because I'm  not a hugely emotional person. I have no desire for a newborn at this stage in the game and I think, after all of the testing and 9 mos of carrying a child, I'll just be glad to have my body back again. People ask me how I could possibly give up my baby that I carried all that time. My answer is simple. It's not MY baby. I'm just carrying it and then giving it back. It's really that simple.

  • What will you tell your kids?
I had a wonderful opportunity to explain it to my 3 year old after the intended parents had visited us. She'd asked, "Where are their kids?" I told her that they didn't have any and that mommy would help them so that they had a baby. I reminded her that sometimes I would carry her dolly down the stairs for her, but that when we got to the bottom, I'd give it back because it wasn't mine. It was still hers. In the same way, I'd carry this couple's baby and then give it back after I was done helping them.

My youngest child won't really understand or remember any of it.

  • Where will you give birth?
I'll be giving birth in my home city. The intended mother will be here for the last month of the pregnancy and the intended father hopes to join us for the last two weeks. They will attend the birth.

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Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)