Wednesday, October 19, 2011

One Year Ago Today...

A year ago today was the day that I first spoke with K & M on the phone. We got to know each other and talked about the particulars of the surrogacy. I only remember this  because it was also the day I got the phone call that my Dad had passed away in an accident. A lot happened in a year's time and yet nothing happened. Ha!

When I last left you, I was taking a summer vacation from surrogacy. I had contacted K & M to let them know I would not be continuing with the third round of IVF with them. The cycle that they cancelled was pretty rough on me physically, (not to mention the emotional aspect) and was bordering on just plain dangerous. Because they had broken the contract by cancelling the transfer, I had no obligations to continue. I just didn't know if I'd do it anyway, or part ways on the day K called me with the news of her pregnancy. The more I thought about it, the more it was clear that choosing not to continue was the right decision. Some extended family situations came into light, and coupled with my immediate family's need for a healthy wife/mother it didn't seem responsible for me to continue.

Of course this lead to a lot of ill feelings on K's part. One day out of the blue, my fertility clinic called me to tell me that I was banned from their services. I was completely shocked. What had I done? Apparently, K had told her credit card company that the charges for my ultrasounds/bloodwork were fraudulent, making me look like a criminal.

I contacted K&M saying that I hoped this was a mistake and asking what happened. K's reply was full of hatred, telling me what a horrible person I was, that they weren't pursuing a child now, and that she hoped I never would "do this to someone else." She wasn't interested in clearing my name with my fertility clinic at all, so I had to turn to my lawyer.

If I didn't clear my name, I wouldn't be able to go through with a surrogacy for anyone else as it's the only clinic in the vicinity. My lawyer was able to clear things up by highlighting in the contract where K&M were responsible for my medical fees in addition to the documentation where K&M's fertility clinic has sent orders for the bloodwork/ultrasounds in question. Pretty cut and dried really, so my clinic removed the ban, but indicated that I would not be able to continue any services ordered by New England Fertility. No problem there.

So, that's where we're at. I'm done with K&M. I have no plans to pursue another surrogacy at the present time. My family needs me right now, but I'm grateful for the learning experience and all that entailed. I truly wish I could have been part of the equation for completing a family, but then everything happens for a reason, doesn't it?

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Everyone is absolutely entitled to their opinion and I love to hear alternative view points. That's the spice of life! However... please know that if your comment is in any way (1)derogatory toward the intended parents, (2)lacks common courtesy/tact, or (3)provides an uneducated stance it will be moderated. Difference of opinion is fine. Stupidity, not so much. Positivity - it does a body good! :)